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Dude, relax. I'm getting up now.

Calm down. Get off!

Yeah! How you like me now, bitch? Right? Up high! Up high! That's how we do! I'm gonna kill him! Where is. Move! Why are you here? After all these years of putting on toe tags, I sort of developed a foot fetish. And you get tired of looking at dead ones, you know? No, Doug, I don't. Quick question. How could I possibly have breast cancer? Anyone can get it, John. And unfortunately, your sentinel node biopsy came back positive. We should start chemotherapy right away. Do you want to call your brothers? I'm not telling anybody about this, all right? So just forget it. End of story. Can I have a minute, please? Why wouldn't John want any help? You know, this reminds me of the time my cousin Greg got stuck at the airport. I offered to pick him up, but he said he'd just crash at some cheap motel. Anyway, the next day. Let me guess. He hung himself. No, Dr Kelso, my cousin didn't hang himself, okay? He did. But he lived. That's a nice story. Stop. Stop. Stop it, please.

There's no touching. No touching me. No, please don't touch. Okay, everyone, can I have your attention? That interview is a fake.

It's the first thing that I've ever read.

It never happened. So there's no more touching me. Not now, not never. Knock, knock, knock. Hello, is the real Dr Cox in there?

Because his friend Ted wants him to know it's safe to come out. You read the interview, too? What interview?

I don't know, she wouldn't say.

What is John's problem? Yeah, Carla, what is his problem? He's embarrassed about having breast cancer. Most guys would be. You know what else would embarrass most guys?

Having their ass handed to them Hong-Kong style. In front of the whole cafeteria.

Do you want to call your brothers?

Elliot, even doctors get self-conscious about their bodies. Remember last month when Turk pretended to visit his brother, But he was actually having his testicle removed?

He was so embarrassed, he only let me tell you about it. And he was only comfortable telling J.D. Baby, I haven't told J.D. How could you not tell your best friend? Do you guys even realise I'm here? One testicle.

Well, where is it? Did you at least keep it? Why would I keep my testicle? These conditions are perfect. He's beautiful.