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Whether you've eaten mushrooms or acid or coke or all of the above

So then we had to do that. My nose was too long, so we had to shorten it.

Alright, that's enough.

And then it was too wide, so we had to thin it. And it was just a lot more complicated than I thought. My nose was just an insane amount of money. I mean, I was shocked. I thought that a nose job was only, like, three or four grand, But I was wrong. Mine was, like, three times that amount. I mean, my girlfriend's breast enlargement. Was, like, four or five grand. I mean, it's not like I ever felt them, but.

They actually look kinda real, you know? You're a disgrace to white folks. Where's my wallet? Where's my wallet? On the dresser. Hi, Sister Jean, it's Joe. How can you spend a thousand bucks on a 976 line? I don't get it. You're Joseph Scott, who every woman wants, And you waste your money on a 976 line. Cos I can pretend to be someone else. Not you, Sister Jean, someone else. I need some tickets. I'm at home. Now? Great, thank you. I'll see you in a bit. Bye. Bye. Don't you have any philosophies in life apart from self-indulgence? You're the most self-indulgent fool I've ever met. I thought you'd given up. I did give up. And then I started again. Feel this. What? Feel this. It's a lump. Feel that lump? You feel it? There? There!

It's cancer. Breast cancer. Can men get breast cancer? Do they give men mastectomies? I've got something down there as well. Have you seen a doctor? Yes, and he's a fucking idiot! It's cancer. So where is it? What? My wallet! On the dresser.

No, it isn't. It is. What the fuck is that?

"Well, if you do, Kevin Hubble, and I ever find out!".

That would be a dog. Why the fuck is it in my house? I'm not taking that dog to lunch with me. You better.

"Well, if you do, Kevin Hubble, and I ever find out!".

Is it cocktail hour yet? Well, it is somewhere! I'm handing in my notice. It's so much fun here. It's not about the money. How much? When I show up here, I never know what to expect. Whether you've eaten mushrooms or acid or coke or all of the above. You know what they call you? Captain Wacky. Captain Wacky.

I saw you and I know you. I know all about you, Joe Scott.

You know, I really don't like looking at myself through your eyes.

Another 500. I'm not happy. Your happiness doesn't interest me. Mine does. OK. That's a month, not a week. Hi! You look terrific.

So do you. Welcome. Come in. Nice to see you. My apartment block was shaking last night. Did you feel it? I thought it was gonna fall in and I was gonna die. Five, right? You have the fires and you have the floods and you have the riots. And then you have the drive-by shootings. Fires, floods, earthquakes, riots. I drove by a body on my way here just lying on the sidewalk. We don't need to go to the movies. We live in a movie. I live here, but I can't find a good thing to say about it. If I close my eyes and picture it, all I see is one big varicose vein. You got yourself a dog! It's good to have animals. I have two dogs, two cats and a green lizard.