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Excuse me, our friend is having a baby.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm so, so sorry, I had no idea. Oh, me and my big mouth. Is there anything I could do.?

No, just stop telling that story. I mean it.

I'll never mention it again. I promise, I promise, Mrs. Haines. Good dirt. Oh, my God. Hello, it's Mary for Sylvie again. Is she still in that meeting? Yes, if you could please have her call me as soon as she gets out. Thank you. I'm sorry, Mom. I heard what happened. Your father is a real shit. I ordered you a gimlet. I know, you don't drink in the afternoon. But you will eventually, so why not start now? You wanna see a bad facelift? Helen Danvers, 2 o'clock.

She looks like she's re-entering the Earth's atmosphere.

Are you an agent?

Honey, what can I do? Do you want me to punish Daddy? Mom, Stephen's having an affair. What? I can't believe those words came out of my mouth. That just makes me sick to my stomach. Who is she, one of your friends? No, she sells perfume at Saks.

Tanya's ready for you, Ms. Fowler.

She's a spritzer girl? I mean, how could I not have known? Three months ago, he bought cowboy boots. I just can't believe this is happening to me. I thought we were happy. What are you gonna do? What do you mean? I'm gonna tell him to move out. Well, that's not very smart. Someone once said. That when you don't know what to do, do nothing. Mom, my husband of 13 years is having an affair. I mean, do they talk about me when they're in bed? Do they laugh at me? Please don't tell me to pretend that nothing happened. You have no idea how this feels.

I think she should be told. Uh, yeah.

Well, let me try. It feels like someone kicked you in the stomach. It feels like your heart stopped beating. It feels like that dream. You know, the one where you're falling and you want so desperately to wake up. Before you hit the ground, but it's all out of your control.

You can't trust anything anymore. No one is who they say they are. Your life is changed forever. And the only thing to come out of the whole ugly experience. Is no one will ever be able to break your heart like that again. I can't believe you never told me that. I wanted you to love your father. Jeez, I mean, who was she? Some little skank who sold fabric.

I can't believe you quit.

I met her once. She wore too much makeup and her bra straps were always showing.

What are you doing? You can't desert them now.

What did you do when you found out? Nothing. I had a smart mother too. Mary, that girl does not mean anything more to Stephen. Than the fabric whore meant to your father.

If he loved her, believe me, you would have felt it. I can't fake it, Mom. I can't be anywhere near him right now. Then this is what I think we should do. It's spring break. We'll go away for a couple of weeks. There is nothing like a heavy dose of a mars mistress. To make him miss his wife. What do you think this is, some kind of 1930s movie? That's ridiculous. Can I remind you of something? You have a daughter, just like I did. This is not just about you. Call Stephen. Tell him I invited you and Molly up to the cottage in Maine. We'll leave tomorrow. And I wouldn't discuss this with any of your friends. They'll all want to help, and before you know it. You'll be taking care of them instead of yourself. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry for you, baby.

We stop putting little Hollywood twits on the cover.

But it's nice to know you still need your mama. Was that a sunrise we just saw?