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Okay, guys. Close your eyes

But it was fine in the orphanage. That's me in the third row. I wasn't very popular. Of course, everybody wanted to be adopted. Luckily, lots of families came. And everybody got to go live with a family. Oh, except me.

But I tried not to give up hope. Then, one day. Something magical happened, just like out of a fairy tale. Do you remember the one where the wolf huffed and puffed. And blew the piggies' house down? And he was wearing a glass slipper, I think, and he had a pumpkin? Plus there was that other thing? Well, the same thing happened to me. Only vastly different. And the next thing you know, people seemed to like me for once.

I mean, I don't know anything about Aztecs, you know? Or their culture.

And then pictures were taken, and suddenly I found the family. I always wanted.

It's like we might both lose our virginity this year.

Oh, I forgot to tell you, my name is Shelley. Now I live in the Playboy Mansion. And this is where I want to live happily ever after.

Throw the ball to me, Kim. Oh, nice catch. Awesome throw. Hey, Lauren. Hi, Shelley!

Hi, Hef! Hi, girls! Hi, Shelley. Looking good. Marvin! Oh, hey, Shelley. You guys have to try one of these. Marvin makes the best margaritas. That's 'cause they're mangoritas. I invented them myself. I added my own little Marvin twist to them. Well, you're the best twister I know. No, Shelley, you're the best twister.

Shelley. Hi!

Wait, but I can really help you guys.

Why are you keeping the rich, good-looking, famous guys all to yourself?

You should introduce me. Oh, of course. Guys, this is Cassandra. She's only been here for a few months, But everybody loves her, because she's super-beautiful. And she never throws up on anybody when she's drunk. So, Shelley, are you a centerfold? She wishes. Yeah, I do. So keep all your fingers crossed.

Well, that's my thought.

Hopefully Hef'll give me the good news this weekend at my birthday party. I've got my "turn ons" all ready and everything. Being a centerfold is the highest, most prestigious honor there is. It says, "I'm naked in the middle of a magazine.

"Unfold me.". I gotta tell you, it seems you've got a pretty good life here. H, it's paradise. We are just one big family. I'm so happy.

Why would I wanna live anywhere else? I love this one. Don't you guys? We'll put this on the Mansion tab and have it all sent over this afternoon.