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Oh, we can't just leave Mort back in time. That'd be more irresponsible that silent movie porn. All right. We'll go get him. But remember Brian, don't touch anything when we're in the past.

Even stepping on a mosquito could create a chain reaction that drastically alters the present. Really? Nah, you can do whatever you want. C'mon! Okay. If everything worked properly this should be the exact time and place that Mort was sent to. Now we just got to figure out where we are. Or when we are. Oh, that's such a douche time travellers thing to say. Okay. We're somewere in Europe. Aha! Look Brian! This trail of used tissues should lead us right to Mort. Or to Quagmire.

Aha-ha-ha-ha. Oh, he's gross. Warsaw. Well, at least we know where we are. And so we had encrucified. But this doesn't leave this room. Anyway, the point is, may Haim and Sarah have many wonderful years together. Amen. Oh, excuse me! We're looking for mr. Goldman. Mr. Mort Goldman. He's a small business owner. Tends to wine a lot. Kinda of hypochondriac. Oh no, you can't put you hand back up after you put it down. You know-Never mind. Stewie look at this. September 1st, 1939. There's something about that date. I now pronounce you man and wife. Mazl tov! Now step on the glass. Oh, but be careful though. At my wedding I cut myself on the glass.

And when I've got to Palm Beach for the honeymoon I had to put a wonder bread bag on my foot to keep the sand out. Oh, Mort, thank god. Brian and Stewie? You're in heaven too? Mort, this isn't heaven. You've time travelled into the past.

What? How is that possible? Just trust me, we're here to bring you back home. But it's got to be heaven, Brian. Look! There's my frugal aunt Ruth, my drifty(? ) uncle Isaac, my bogen hunting aunt Flo, And my great aunt Vera, who didn't like to spend a lot on anything.

Bombs away.

C'mon Mort, we gotta get out of here.

But Brian, when am I gonna have another chance to see my grandpa Haim's wedding with my own eyes.

Yes, you know, he's right, Brian. Besides, I've never been to hebrew wedding.

Well, I guess we could stay a little longer. Oh, wonderful. I wanna be hoisted up on the chair and see what it feels like to be top jew. I knew there was something about this date. September 1st, 1939. This is the german invasion of Poland. It's also the exact day and year that Rene Russo was born. Stewie, we gotta get out of here fast. Quick, set up the return pad and let's get back to our own time. Right. What's wrong? Why we're still here? I don't know. Stewie, it's not working. Yeah. And you know what's not gonna fix it? Your shouting. Aw god! Should we ask somebody for help?

Yeah, right. How many pollocks does it take to fix the time machine? Let's find out. No, we can't stay here. We'll have to get Mort to England. It's the only place he'll be safe from the nazis. Oh dear, awful those nazis. If they catch me, they'll beat me unmerciful.

And rub dirt my assneck(? ) all over my assy nipples. Juden. Ruber der schmutzen auf deine assneck.

All right, there's the checkpoint. If we can get past it, we're out of occupied Poland. Right. Mort, you're set? Oh god. I hope this works.