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It's the saddest moment in my life and I can't cry!

They should be at school! It's summer holidays, Mrs Rogers. Holidays! There are too many holidays! Holidays. When I was a girl, we didn't have all these holidays. We had Christmas holidays. That was all we had.

He'll blame me.

I hate her. Just ignore her.

She's a miserable old lady. She murdered her children. She did! Did she? She poisoned them. Yeah. And then she chopped them up and put the bits in the sea. You'd better behave, then, or she might just do the same to you.

If she couldn't find it, she'd make it.

I wish that boy wouldn't sing. He's gonna sour the milk. Jane, eat it up. You haven't touched a thing. I don't bloody like it! Jane, don't swear! Don't pay any attention. She's been swearing like a trooper all week.

She's just testing. You mixed everything up together. I can't undo it and put everything back into piles. Just try a little bit. Nice crop of tomatoes this year. Was there anything else you'd like? Fishfingers. I don't think we've got any. You know, one of those Jehovah's Witnesses came by today. Told me that me and my garden will go to hell. Your mum'll have to cook you something when you get home. I don't think we've got anything you like.

You look nice Do I?

He was a real bastard.

Sit down. I'll give you a cup of tea.

Good God, is he really? Seems like yesterday.

Joe, are you in there? I'm sorry, I need the loo. You smell nice. Have you got a date? Yeah. Come to my house before you meet your girlfriend. I don't. You won't be sorry. Jack's at his mother's. Let me look at you. Look at my little Elvis! Can I go now? Yeah, go on. Joe? I'm late already.

But it was almost a physical thing.

Don't be silly. I won't keep you long.

Come in But I'm really late. Just for a minute. Anyway, it's good to keep a girl waiting. Take your shirt off.

Go faster! Go faster, Joe! Don't worry about Joe. He's always late. He'll be late for his own funeral. Sorry I'm late. I had to do something for my mum. Couldn't get away. Do you find this approach usually works? Let me guess, you've never tried it before. Your neck's covered in love bites! You really surprise me, Joe Scott.