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I love how Carla's rigid parenting rules don't apply to us

She's going to start dating some gangbanger, Who you're going to harass over and over and over again. To get his life together until he snaps and shoots you in the face. Oh, my God!

Whoa. Wow, you're bringing the crazy extra hard today, huh? Take a deep breath. Okay. You're the most amazing mom I've ever seen. One tiny mistake can't ruin something that good. That's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me. This is going to come back to you in a good way. What kind of a good way? In the boudoir, right? Up high. We're getting a little old to be making such a big deal out of having sex. Yeah, you're right.

I'm just playing, man!

I'm sorry, I don't speak the Spanish-ita.

Thank goodness. When you said that, I died a little inside. Give it up for me getting some! Upstairs! Downstairs! I don't really like "downstairs.". Really? Well, I wanted to try it. You ready to do this? All right. You're Space Invaders! Try and stay together, for goodness' sake. All right, Boon, you're the Mother Ship. Josephine, use your annoying voice to make the Mother Ship sound. Go. Somebody get him some ice!

Does anyone know why we did that? Because you're so mean and stupid? No. We did it to teach you an important lesson about medicine,

Which we'll reveal to you once you've changed into dry scrubs. What's the lesson? I don't know. We need to come up with something quick though, Because Boon has a concussion, and his father's a lawyer. What could we have been teaching them? All right, listen up. I'll tell you one thing, people. You've got to be ready for anything this hospital throws at you. That's perfect. I'll go tell the interns. Wait, wait. Let me write it down so you don't forget. That's a good idea. I've got an overweight patient back there. Who has already had his stomach stapled. And is now taking diet medication that gives you painful diarrhoea. Whenever you eat more than 15 grams of fat at one sitting. Anyone want to guess what he's in the hospital for? I'll give you a hint. It is very painful and it rhymes with "shmiarrhoea.". You know what? Here is an idea. Patients should just pay me to take the food right out of their hands. Before they even have a chance to cram it down. Those disgusting doughnut-mashers they call mouths.

I mean, honestly.

God, Perry, how many times do I have to say it? We're tired of your speeches.

If you can't stop, I'll have to hire an orchestra. To play that award show music. They use to hustle long-winded Hollywood fruitcakes off the stage. I'm just sick and tired of. Do you think I should try my new. "I'll take that food right out of your hands" diet on him? Does it matter what I say? Does it ever? No. Emery, my name is Dr Dorian. I'm gonna take good care of you, okay? I promise. I'll tell you why I threw water balloons at y'all, all right? I threw water balloons at you guys because. I'm so calling my dad. You're in trouble now, Mr Man. I'm gonna kill J.D. So, Emery, your skin grafts are looking great. It should only be a few more weeks and we'll have you in physical therapy. No, I have to be out of here by this Saturday. Why? You got a. Hot rendezvous? Look, all my friends are going off to different colleges. This is the last time that we'll be together. Please, just don't make me miss this. I'll see what I can do. Turk, don't forget to get your shift covered tonight. It's the six-year anniversary of our first date. I hope the present you got me is a good one, Because the one I got you is slamming. I can't wait. Okay. So what's the big gift there, Gordon? Well, the past couple of months, I've secretly been taking classes. And listening to tapes and I have learned Spanish for my baby. That's fantastic. It only took you six years.

To learn the language that your wife speaks. I've been eavesdropping. I got Lady a real gift. For our one-month anniversary. I cured her fear of the unknown. Women are like crows. They like shiny things, Classy stuff they can wear in their ears, around their necks, Through their nipples. Crows have nipples? Don't listen to them, C-Bear. It's an amazing gift. Plus, you know how everyone's rude to those day labourers. Across the street? Now we can finally talk to them.

Turk, look at the size of this churro.